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If a guy expresses interest in you, and you don't like him dorsum, yous tin can feel like you're stuck in a difficult situation. You don't want to lead him on, but you don't want to hurt his feelings either. The best fashion to solve the problem is to accept a conversation with him about it. During the conversation, you need to be perfectly honest with him about the style that you feel.

1. 1

   Know that he likes you lot. If you don't absolutely know that he likes you, don't act upon it. You lot may ruin a friendship based on rumors that other people accept told you or an assumption that you've made because you lot think he likes you. In that location are some tell-tale signs that he is truly into you.^[ane]

   • He consistently asks y'all out.
   • He persistently tries for body contact.
   • He persists on hanging one-on-one.

2. two

   Don't procrastinate. The longer you look, the worse it'll exist. His feelings will abound and it volition exist impossible to maintain whatever kind of friendship after you tell him the truth.^[ii]

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3. 3

   Don't avoid him forever. You can pretend all you desire that he'll "get the hint" if you simply avoid him. Well, he won't. You need to find a time to talk to him. Make it a time when it's only the 2 of you, so that he doesn't get embarrassed in front of a group of people.

4. iv

   Make a plan. Write downward what you're going to say before you say it. If you lot fumble over your words, you'll brand the chat longer, more awkward, and a worse fourth dimension than it needs to be. In your plan, y'all should have some points almost why yous aren't interested in him. Don't attack him with reasons he's gross—just be honest about why you're non into him.^[three]

   • You can't seem to motion on from your ex-boyfriend.
   • Yous only aren't physically attracted to him.
   • Y'all like someone else.

5. 5

   Hash out the phone. If you have a conversation on the phone or over text, you can still implement all of these into your conversation. The most important part when doing that is beingness ultimate. Make sure he knows that at that place is no future hazard for the human relationship.

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1. ane

   Acknowledge the seriousness. You lot need to allow him know that yous want to have a serious conversation. This way, he takes what you're proverb to eye. If you don't accept the time to do this, he may not understand the level of importance of the talk.^[iv]

2. two

   Be nice. Let him down piece of cake. Add a compliment or two into your talk but convey to him that it's non plenty.

   • "Yous're a great friend, but we can't exist together."
   • "Yous'll make someone very happy, simply it's not going to exist me."
   • "You're great and have a lot to offer, but I don't think we're a skilful match based on our values."^[five]
   • "I think you're an amazing guy, but I think we want different things. Are you open up to being friends?"^[6]

3. 3

   Give him your "back-off" message. Even afterwards giving him the reasons yous're not into him, he may not fully understand. Deliver your official "back-off" message after you've told him your reasons.

   • "We won't have a romantic human relationship."
   • "Nosotros can stay friends if you're going to keep it at friendship."
   • "In that location isn't the correct chemistry between u.s.a.."
   • "I think y'all're a great guy; however, I feel that nosotros connect better as friends rather than romantically."^[7]

4. 4

   Assure him that your feelings aren't going to change. If y'all don't tell him flat out that your feelings aren't going to modify, he might hope for information technology. Don't let him exit with whatever questions of you lot having romantic feelings for him in the future. Set some ground rules for your friendship (if at that place is however going to be one).^[8]

5. 5

   Be honest. Allow him enquire some questions if he wants to and answer the honestly. There'due south no sense in protecting his feelings with lies: tell him the truth. This will help him move on more rapidly.^[9]

6. 6

   Be willing to mind. Rehearsing the conversation in your head helps, but tin can also hurt y'all by creating preconceptions in your caput about how it volition get. Rather than attacking him with your thoughts, sit across from him and hear what he has to say so that he volition listen to what you have to say.^[x]

7. 7

   Concord to cease the conversation. To ensure that he'southward gotten your point fully, inquire him what he thinks about it all. Stand your footing and don't leave the conversation without him agreement that you don't similar him. Don't leave without clarity.^[11]

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1. one

   Be polite. Just considering you told him that you don't similar him doesn't hateful you have to ignore him or be rude. Don't think of him as weak or broken because of your pick. He'll move past information technology, so treat him like a man being. Don't just ignore him forever.^[12]

2. two

   Give him infinite. Don't go out of your manner to see if he's doing alright. If yous come across him, be cordial, but don't accomplish out to him outside of that. Rejection hurts, and if you're constantly reminding him about it, he'll constantly exist hurting. This could somewhen atomic number 82 to self-esteem issues, acrimony, or even aggression—you don't desire to be at fault for that.^[xiii]

3. iii

   Don't atomic number 82 him on. If he decides that he can stay friends with you after having the conversation, make sure to prepare a clear line of ceremoniousness. This tin exist in a divide word if either of you need fourth dimension to call back about information technology. Having this discussion will assist both of you put some closure on the previous one.

   • Discuss if information technology's ok to comment on how 1 another looks.
   • Talk near if physical contact (hugs, holding easily, etc.) is even so advisable.

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Add New Question

• Question

  I told him I didn't similar him, and he hurt himself! I feel like it's my fault. What practice I practice?

  

  To be absolutely clear, him hurting himself is not and never will be your fault. Even if he says information technology'southward your fault that he injure himself, it'southward not, considering you're non in control of his actions--that's all on him. Tell an adult, like your parents, a teacher or your school counselor that he hurt himself, and let them assist him. In the meantime, talk to an adult you trust almost how you experience. You're immune to turn others downward for whatever reason, and they have no right to make you lot feel guilty or responsible for how they react.

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• Don't be surprised if he gets angry or defensive. It'south not easy to accept rejection.

• Before you have officially decided to tell this person you don't feel the same way, make sure you to don't actually similar him or her in any romantic way, simply every bit friends.

• If you feel uncomfortable approaching the person, write a letter of the alphabet, merely be open up to questions and ensure it is articulate yous don't like him.

• Throw a few compliments into the conversation then that he doesn't become down on himself.

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Article Summary X

To tell a guy you don't similar him, deed as shortly as possible, since waiting will just allow his feelings for y'all to abound. When you talk to him, find a place where y'all tin exist lone, since telling him in a group may be embarrassing for him. If y'all're worried about what to say, make a programme ahead of time. For example, you could say something simple and honest like "You're a great friend, but we can't be together." Avert making excuses or saying that you're into someone else, since this might lead him to believe your feelings may change. If he won't let it become, be honest and tell him yous can't be friends, if he keeps trying to pursue you. To learn how to give him space after letting him downwards, read on.

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